


A new start

by radxx



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-14
Updated: 2015-05-29
Packaged: 2018-03-17 20:04:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3542141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radxx/pseuds/radxx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set after the final fight inside Mount Weather. Thanks to Lexa, Clarke finds her way back to her life step by step and finally realizes how much she has missed and still needs Lexa.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A new start

**Author's Note:**

> story set after 2x16, spoiler alert!

The sun was already up in the sky when Clarke woke up.  
She hadn't been sleeping well lately. In fact, she hadn't been sleeping at all because of the pressure on her shoulders for the mission to Mount Weather, where she let hundreds of people die of radiations. She had killed Dante herself, as a warning to Cage, and then decided to irradiate the entire level 5. She couldn't do else. She had to save her people, and she was trying so hard to be one of the good guys, to do the right thing and not to kill innocents, but when she saw her mother and her friends suffering on the table, while the doctors were taking their bone marrow, she blacked out.  
She could still remember the smell of the corpses she saw in the dorm room, after everything was over.  
They were all still haunting her, even though two months had passed. After that, she decided to go away from everyone. She had a burden that she and only she had to carry.  
When the sunbeams of the early morning hit her face, she got up from her bed made of leaves and branches, packed her few things and started to walk. She didn't know where she was headed to, as usual. She just needed to walk and walk to make the dead faces and the smells go away, until her feet hurt too much that she was forced to rest. This was her life now, a life of wandering and solitude, she thought.

While walking, she started to think, as she always did. She thought of going back home to camp Jaha. Her mother would surely be there, like Bellamy, Raven, Jasper, Monty, Lexa. Lexa. She couldn't help thinking about the Commander, about what they had been through together before the brunette betrayed her. A sudden rage took over Clarke, but she wasn't angry with Lexa, she was angry with herself. She was angry because she had understood the reason why the grounder did what she did. She couldn't at first but she saw everything from a different point of view after what she did to the Mountain Men.  
She was parted in two. The girl who could understand that sacrifices must be made in order to survive and the girl who simply couldn't stop thinking about the other possibilities she might have not thought of when she still could. 

But Lexa's face wouldn't go away, in any case. The Commander was always in her mind. Clarke still saw her while sleeping and even while walking in the middle of the day. She hoped to see her, Clarke realized. She couldn't deny that she still had feelings for her. Clarke had accepted that it was more than respect and friendship that bounded her to the Heda. She remembered the softness of the girl's lips on hers and yet the strength she transmitted through the kiss. Clarke missed that. She missed that so much that she couldn't even fully admit it to herself. She had told Lexa she wasn't ready but now she realized how important the brunette was to her. How badly she needed her.  
Clarke shook those thoughts off her and focused on her feet moving. She walked until dark and then set up for the night. The very second her head touched the ground, she fell asleep, but only to be awaken a few hours later by a noise that came from right behind her. Clarke's hand ran to the knife in her belt, her fingers tightened around the grip, ready to move in case of danger. She didn't see the animal attacking, it was too dark, but she could hear it. Unfortunately the beast was quicker than her, and something like claws tore her leather jacket and sank in the flash in her left arm and shoulder.

A scream came out of Clarke's throat while she was falling to the ground. Her head hit a rock and she felt the blood bursting out and leaking on her forehead and face. The animal, most likely a species of catlike, was on her, aiming to her neck with the fangs. Clarke tried to push it away, to keep it as far as possible as she reached for her knife that had fallen from her hand in the fall. Her eyes couldn't see anything at all, both for blood and the injury to her head. She was about to faint, it was all too much.  
Maybe this is right, she thought, maybe this could end the sorrow and punish her for everything she had done. Maybe it was pointless to fight, maybe she should let the animal kill her. After all, she deserved it.  
The blonde was just about to give up, she was too tired. But suddenly the beast let out a moan and fell on Clarke, not moving anymore. It was dead, Clarke realized. Its weight was taking her breath away, so she pushed it away with all the strength she had left, which was not much, but she managed to free herself and take a deep breath. She was exhausted. The bleeding from her arm had stopped but not the one from her head. She was sitting on the ground, looking at the trees around her. It was almost dawn, she noticed. The lines and the borders of everything around her were getting more and more blurred, but she saw something. No, she saw someone. It had something familiar to her. She opened her mouth to speak, to ask who it was, when everything went black and Clarke drifted into sleep.

The first thing she saw when she opened her eyes was something she never thought she would acatually see ever again. Nay, someone. It took Clarke a few seconds to fully realize that it wasn't a hallucination. Lexa, the great Commander of the 12 clans, the girl whom she had been slowly falling in love with, the friend who betrayed her a few months earlier, was sitting next to her. The brown eyes fixed on Clarke's. She was still as a statue, so still that Clarke thought for a second that maybe she wasn't real.  
"You've been sleeping for two days. Actually you did wake up for a few minutes every now in then, but you were raving. You scared me, I thought your wounds had infected.", Lexa said, after several seconds of silence between the two, staring at each other. Lexa's words made Clarke think about her injuries and she suddenly felt the pain in every part of her body, especially the head and the arm. Her hand ran automatically to the cuts, now banded and probably stitched, since she felt her skin too tight there.

"What happened? How did you find me? Why are you here?", Clarke said, while trying to get up. Her mind was full of questions, but she couldn't help herself being happy for the presence of the brunette. It had been a surprise and she had always thought that she couldn't live with other people anymore, but it was nice having her near once again. Clarke took a step towards her, who was sitting on the rocks a few meters from her, but the blonde's legs didn't really respond to the orders the brain gave, and she found herself falling down. Lexa reached for her and put her arm around Clarke's waist to hold her up, before she could hit the ground.

"Whoa, Princess, chill. You still need to recover. You hit your head pretty badly the other night and we don't want you to get hurt again, do we?", Lexa said with a slight smile. "You may not have realized it, but you are in the territories of the alliance. When my men reported to me that they had seen a blonde Sky girl wandering in the zone, I knew it was you. It had to be you.", she continued. Lexa regretted saying those final words right away, knowing she may have said too much.  
Lexa had been secretly looking for Clarke, restlessly day and night, since she heard of her disappearing. She knew it was Clarke's choice to go away, but she had always cared for her and she needed to know she was safe. Not a day had passed that she didn't partially regret her deal with the Mountain Men. She felt so bad about Clarke. Clarke, the girl who had gotten into her heart in such a short time and had changed her life in a way that nobody could understand. Every day going by without any news from Clarke, Lexa wanted to scream and tear everything down out of rage and worry. But she was the Commander, she had to be stoic and heartless and strong. _Hodnes laik kwelnes_. Love is weakness, she kept repeating to herself. _Hodnes laik kwelnes._  
But as soon as she heard Clarke was near, she jumped on her horse and rode towards her. It had been a fortune, too, since when she got to the blonde, she was just about to be killed by a beast. Great timing, Lexa had thought. 

"You haven't answered my questions". Clarke's voice brought her back to reality. Lexa gently helped the Sky girl sit down on a stone while gathering her thoughts and choosing her next words carefully. She had let too much slip out of her mouth already.  
"I was told you were wandering in this zones. These places are full of dangers, so I thought I could check on you". Lie. Huge lie. Those territories were perfectly safe.  
Lexa looked away, hoping to hide her emotions from the blonde. "You have been attacked by an animal similar to a big wild cat. Luckily I got there in time or we wouldn't be having this conversation now, nor you would have had other conversations in the future", Lexa continued.  
She turned her head back to Clarke and looked at her blue eyes. The girls were sitting so close that Lexa could smell Clarke's hair, a smell she had missed so much and that she had thought she wouldn't smell ever again. A smile appeared on the grounder's face, while the scent gently inebriated her. Lexa closed her eyes, feeling at peace for the first time in such a long time. When she opened them again, she found herself inches from Clarke. The blue eyes were locked on the green ones of the Commander.

"I have missed you, Clarke. I have been worried sick for so long. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat. I just-", Lexa confessed, murmuring. She was surprised herself, when she heard those words come out of her own mouth. She couldn't even finish the sentence. It was way too painful to think about those dark days. 

Clarke was barely breathing. She could feel chills down her spine and at the back of her neck. A sudden need of contact ran through her, making her lean closer to Lexa. Her heart was exploding, it was beating fast and her breath was now heavy.¬ She could tell that Lexa was trying to hold herself back. The Heda was still, every muscle contracted. If she had moved closer to Clarke, she wouldn't have been able to stop herself. Her eyes betrayed her, though. They glanced for an instant at Clarke's mouth and then moved to her blue eyes once again. She was so beautiful.  
The blonde lifted her hand to put a strand of brown hair, leaked from the braids of the Commander, behind the grounder's ear. The second Clarke's fingers touched Lexa's cheek, something like electricity ran between the two.

Lexa couldn't hold any longer. She leaned forwards and kissed Clarke. When their lips touched, gently at first, the world around them disappeared. They parted for an instant, looking into each other's eyes. Lexa was afraid of having done a wrong move, but her fright went away when Clarke eagerly pressed again her lips on Lexa's.

She deepened the kiss, while one of her hands moved to Lexa's waist and the other behind her neck, pulling her closer.  
They kissed and it was like finally beginning to live again.  
Clarke was the first one to break the kiss to catch her breath. She gently cupped Lexa's cheek with a hand, slowly placing small and soft kisses along her jaw and then moving to her neck. Lexa felt shivers down her spine and let out a moan when she felt Clarke's hand pushing on her low back.

They couldn't get enough of each other. It felt like they had been chained for way too long and now they had been released. Their hands moving and touching every reachable part of the other's body, craving for more.

It was Lexa who broke the kiss. She cupped Clarke's face with her hands and looked in her eyes, then gently moved a lock of blonde hair from her face. She couldn't help smiling. It was a genuine smile, Clarke noticed, a rare one that transmitted pure happiness. Clarke could feel Lexa's affection in her soft touch, in her eyes, in her smile.  
"Come back with me", the Commander suddenly said. "Come back home. Please".  
A grounder never said please, but this was an exception. Clarke had always been an exception. Lexa couldn't help being weak when she was with her, especially when they were alone. She was practically begging. She needed the blonde too much, she couldn't let her go away once again.  
Clarke started to scan every possible consequence. She would have to meet her people, face what she had done. Face her fear of being considered a killer by everyone, though she already thought that of herself. It would be hard, she thought, very hard. She looked at Lexa. Clarke had never seen her like this, so vulnerable and worried. Every doubt faded away. 

"Okay, I'll do it. I'll come back", Clarke said. Lexa's face lit up and a broad smile appeared. Clarke's heart melted at the view and she smiled back to the brunette.  
The Commander stood up, pulling Clarke up by the hand. The Sky girl turned pale.  
"Wait, you mean _now_?", she said. The grounder laughed and kept pulling the girl up, "Come on, it's quite a long journey from here. We have a horse, but it still takes 3 days to get to Ton DC". Clarke didn't look so happy either way. Lexa smiled kissing her cheek, "You're not alone, Clarke. I'm right here, I'll always be", she said suddenly serious. She understood Clarke's worry. She held her close, putting her arms around her waist, "I'll always help you out", she continued while starting to kiss the blonde's jaw.

Clarke smiled, a bit relieved. She felt the need of physical contact again, like a few minutes before, but before she could even move a muscle, she felt Lexa pulling away. Clarke felt frustrated and upset, like a child who's been taken the favorite toy away; she glared at the brunette, who simply smiled and jumped on her horse, offering Clarke a hand to join her.  
The Sky girl shook her head, lightly laughing, and got on the horse behind the grounder. She hugged her, placed her hands on Lexa's stomach and rested her head on her back, inhaling the smell of trees and leaves that came from Lexa's hair.  
The horse started to move, gaining speed. Clarke held tight to Lexa.  
"You'll be alright", the Heda said as if she could read the other's mind. "We'll be alright".


	2. Homeward bound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa's journey back to Ton DC is now started. Their relationship develops day by day in a way that they can't realize yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> new chapter, tell me what you think!  
> I'm open to questions, critics and advice

A drop of water hit Clarke's forehead. The air in the forest was getting colder, a storm was coming. She could feel the humidity in the atmosphere and the dark clouds above her, a noise of thunders in the distance. She and Lexa had been travelling for almost two days to Ton DC by horse, not sleeping much in order not to waste time and get home as soon as possible. The storm was about to change their schedule, though.

"We can't continue our ride today. The rain will make it almost impossible for the horse to walk and we'll end up soaked and freezing. I don't know you, but I'm pretty sure that I don't want to get sick", Lexa said, "We need to find a shelter somewhere, a cave or some point of the mountain that can cover us", she added.  
Clarke nodded in agreement and replied, "Maybe we should get some twigs and wood to make a fire. The temperature is likely to drastically drop as soon as it gets dark and we'll froze to death during the night".

Clarke dismounted and started gathering anything they could use for the fire, while Lexa kept riding in the zone looking for some place to stay. After half an hour, she came back, announcing she had found a shelter, "It's not far from here. It looks like an ancient construction, a few parts have collapsed but there's a safe spot half covered-half in the open, so we can also make that fire".

As they reached the place Lexa had mentioned, they started to arrange everything for the cold upcoming night. As Lexa tightened the horse, Clarke started the fire and when they were done, it was already dark.

The chuckled for quite some time. They talked about many things, but none of them regarding Clarke's actions inside Mount Weather nor Lexa's betrayal. The grounder spoke about how the alliance had grown, how the camp was getting bigger and bigger. New tents had appeared and with them dozens of people coming from the entire country, which meant hundreds and hundreds of square kilometers. The blonde realized that Ton DC was a very small town compared to the other cities that Lexa told her about, even though Ton DC hosted the Commander of the 12.   
They spoke for hours and when Clarke looked up the time, she was surprised to see that it was already 3.30am. She didn't feel tired or sleepy at all.

"Wow, we have talked for hours. God, it's really freezing now", Clarke said while rubbing her hands together, "The fire shouldn't be extinguished by the rain since it's covered by the rock, but we must be careful. If the logs get wet, we'll be in an awful lot of trouble".  
"You do think too much, Sky girl. If a problem comes up, we'll take care of it. For now, enjoy the warmth of the fire", Lexa replied while putting her arm around Clarke's shoulder and rubbing her arm to generate more heat. "Although, it is known that two human body in contact produce an incredible quantity of heat", she continued with a grin on her face.

Clarke looked at her surprised and amused at the same time, trying to look scandalized. She couldn't hold a smile, though, that after a second made its way onto her face. It was so nice to see that part of Lexa that was always hidden under her armor, it was nice to see her smile and joke.  
"Oh, reeeeeeally?", Clarke responded, bursting out laughing, "What happened to the stoic-Commander-attitude, uh? And, by the way, you can do better than that. I expect way much more from the great Heda", she said teasing the grounder.

"You haven't seen anything yet, Princess. And you shouldn't be teasing me like this thinking there won't be consequences!" Lexa said laughing, while attacking Clarke and tickling her side and belly. The blonde fell on her back letting out a scream for the surprise. They kept the game going for a few seconds, Clarke trying to push Lexa away and Lexa not giving up. They were both breathless because of the laughing and playing, both lying now on the floor near the fire, one next to the other. Lexa wrapped her arms around Clarke waist and leaned her head on the blonde's shoulder. They looked into each other's eyes, still smiling and catching up their breath.

They stayed like that for quite some time, not needing to speak or anything. They could get lost by simply staring at each other. Clarke's hand moved to Lexa's face, pulling her closer. Their lips touched and it felt like kissing the fire; after a few light kisses, Lexa eagerly deepened the kiss, her tongue dancing with Clarke's.  
She moved slowly, finding herself almost on top of the Sky girl. Her hand started wandering along the other's body, playing with the border of the shirt and pulling it up a bit. Lexa's hand slipped under it, tracing every inch of skin. It was burning, Lexa noticed.. they didn't really need the bonfire after all. 

Lexa's hand made its way to Clarke's back, where it started to play with the blonde's bra and untied it, causing Clarke to breath more and more heavily and to tighten her grip on the brunette's shoulders. Lexa's touch was gentle on her skin, and yet her kisses emanated pure strength and desire, which turned on Clarke even more. With a quick movement, the blonde turned the grounder over and placed herself on top of her. Lexa lightly laughed, pleasantly surprised by the change of situation.  
A wild instinct had taken over the two girls, who were now like in another world.   
They weren't in the woods, they weren't stuck because of the rain, they didn't feel cold or warm, nor Clarke could feel the faint pain that came from the wounds she got two days earlier. It was just them, slowly merging into each other and becoming one.

Lexa lifted a bit to kiss the other's lips once again, but Clarke held her down with a grin.  
"I'm in charge now", she said, and pulled her own shirt up, uncovering the loose black bra in which Clarke's breasts were barely held. She took it off definitely and returned to focus on the Commander, on her lips, while the hands started to take off part of the grounder's armor.

"Jeez, this thing is impossible to untie", she said, after a few seconds trying to get rid of it. Lexa moved her own hands to the laces of the armor and a moment later it fell on the floor next to her. "I'd say you need some practice", Lexa said smiling, "I guess you'll have plenty of time in the future to get better at it". She pulled Clarke in for a passionate kiss, while the blonde pulled up the grounder's shirt. Lexa was wearing some sort of bra, which resembled the sportive kind, that left her shoulders, her abdomen, most of her back and part of her chest uncovered. She traced the lines of the tattoos now exposed, as well as the numerous scars that decorated her skin. Her fingers gently moved from a scar to another, feeling a shiver every time they touched an irregular part of skin.

Clarke raised her head to look into Lexa's green eyes. The blonde was now basically sitting on the other's lap, since the Commander had lifted her back in a half-sitting position. Lexa put her hands on Clarke's hips, while Clarke cupped the brunette's face with both hands and leaned to kiss her, but this was a soft kiss. It wasn't about sex, it wasn't about pleasure. It was out of love, a love they both could feel but none of the two had fully realized they had for each other.

They had affection and they knew it. They cared for each other, but love? Love was a big word, especially in Clarke's mind. She had grown up in a place where love was subordinated to other needs. Where love was expendable and it never occurred to her what this feeling really was about. She had never felt it. Even with Finn she had a different relationship from the one with Lexa. With him it was about needing human contact and mutual comprehension, with Lexa it was about needing her specifically.

Even now in the forest, they were lost in each other, something that had never happened with Finn. Now they couldn't see else than the other, not the trees, not the fire, not the bushes.  
The bushes. The noise that suddenly came from the bushes struck them both. It wasn't the wind for sure who moved the branches and the leaves and Clarke and Lexa knew it. They both reached for their weapons, the gun and a knife, but when they turned their heads to the bushes, they realized it was nothing they had to be afraid of. Kind of.

Octavia stood before them, her green eyes wide open in surprise. She had war paint on her face and her sword in her hand ready to attack in case of danger. When she saw Clarke and Lexa, she understood the situation.  
"Wow. I did NOT see that coming", she said while looking away and turning around, giving the girls time to put their clothes back on.  
"Sorry to interrupt", she continued, "I was with a few other Tree People in the zone looking for the Heda. She left without saying a word to anyone. We were afraid something had happened to her, but now I see that she was in good company". Octavia couldn't help smiling and tried to hold a laugh.  
Clarke and Lexa quickly put their clothes on, while exchanging embarrassed yet complicit looks. Clarke had blushed and was still trying to gather her thoughts to find the right words to say.

Lexa anticipated her, "I'm pretty sure that you already knew about my affection for Clarke. You're close to both of us and you are smart, you must have noticed something before". She sounded relaxed, as if she hadn't just been caught half naked with another half naked girl while "having fun" in the middle of the woods. Clarke was surprised and kind of shocked when that thought struck her. They really had a weird life.  
"And besides, I don't see anything bad about what we were doing", Lexa added as if she had read the blonde's mind. They definitely had a different idea about what was or wasn't weird.  
"Hey, I'm not judging here. I'm happy for you. You finally decided to start something, it took you ages", Oc said with nonchalance and turned away to go back to the other grounders who were coming toward them.

Clarke open her eyes wide and turned to Lexa. "How did she know about this even before we knew?", she asked. An amused smile appeared on the Commander's face, "That girl might be even smarter than what I thought. Come on, we need to join the others and resume the journey. It's almost dawn, so if we hurry up we can get to Ton DC in the early afternoon".

They got on the horses and started to ride with the others. Now Clarke was riding alone, since the grounders had brought along extra horses as usual. She approached Octavia, who was riding behind everyone.   
"What's up, Princess? Trouble in paradise?", Oc asked.   
"No no, it's good, I'm good. But I wanted to talk to you about... before", Clarke blushed again but managed to speak, "Look, I really care for Lexa. I do. But it's a quite recent thing and I'd prefer it to remain private, at least for now".  
"I understand. Don't worry, I won't tell. Although, I don't think you two will have relationship problems. You guys have been through a lot already, the worst part is already over", Octavia said trying to reassure the blonde. Clarke nodded and picked up the pace but the brunette stopped her again.  
"And.. Clarke?", she added, "I've missed you". They exchanged a smile before Clarke went catching up with Lexa.

A few hours later, they were basically home. They dismounted the horses and proceeded on foot. Lexa and Clarke stood in front of the entrance to the village. The blonde looked pale and was clearly nervous. Lexa took her hand and smiled at her trying to transmit her own strength through that light contact.  
"One step at the time, Princess. We can do this", she said, squeezing the blonde's hand and making the first step into the village.


	3. Back home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it took me a while longer than the usual, hope you'll like it.  
> always open to critics or advice ;)

They walked into the village, their hands joint together. Clarke was nervous and after all it was comprehensible. She had been missing for quite some time. She wondered if she had been missed as well. Her hand let go of Lexa's when they reached the big tent, where usually the war council met, where everyone had been reunited in order to greet the two girls back from their journey.  
She had been enthusiast about the past few days with Lexa, even though there had been the little... incident with Octavia, who had seen the two girls half-naked together. But Clarke couldn't tell everyone just yet, since the situation was already very complicated and unstable. And not only between the alliance and her people, called Sky People by the grounders, but also between Lexa and her.   
Their relationship had just started, Clarke didn't want too much pressure about it already.

Clarke stepped into the tent and all the noises, all the voices, all the conversations simply dropped. The silence reigned there and she felt uncountable pairs of eyes staring at her, until someone moved on her left. With a quick movement Abby, her mother, wrapped her arms around the blonde's neck, hugging her with a strength Clarke didn't know think she had in her. She hugged her back and when they parted, she could notice that Abby's eyes were wet, just about to cry.

"I'm fine, Mom, really", she said noticing her mother's eyes glancing and checking the cuts, still healing, on Clarke's forehead and arm.  
People started chatting again. After a quick check on the wounds, Abby let out a breath she had been holding for days, weeks. Her mother looked so relieved, Clarke noticed, and suddenly she felt guilty for going away without saying anything for so long. She had been selfish, she had thought about herself not realizing there could have been many who'd have helped her make it through the crisis. But at the same time she felt that she needed time alone, and after everything she had done, no one could deny it to her.

In the tent there were also Bellamy, Raven, Monty, Jasper and others of the 100. One by one, they all greeted Clarke, sincerely happy about her return. There were hugs, smiles and an awful lot of questions. With the noise increasing around her, she felt the tiredness of the past weeks taking over her and after a while the effort to keep her eyes open became almost unbearable. Raven noticed first and said, "Guys, I think the Princess needs some time to rest, don't you?", glancing at the blonde. "I guess I could use some sleep.. I haven't been really resting lately. I need to go to Camp Jaha", Clarke answered looking around to see if there was anyone who was already gathering things to leave, so that she could join them. Lexa was no longer in sight, she noticed. 

Indra stepped forwards, "The Commander gave order that you stay here. Tomorrow there is a reunion with the generals of the other clans and she wants you to be there, too. It'd take too long for you to go to Camp Jaha and then come back at first light, it'd be a waste of time. It's better if you sleep in the Commander's tent. A person of your relevance can't sleep in an ordinary tent".  
Clarke nodded and after saying goodbye to everyone, she headed to the tent. The sun was already dying over the horizon. It was about 7pm, a bit early to go sleeping but after all she was so tired that she could sleep even at noon and in the middle of nowhere. She reached the tent and stepped inside, finding the place empty. Clarke threw herself on the bed covered with furs, warm and soft furs. She placed herself under the red sheets, the color of the Commander, and fell asleep in a matter of seconds with the gentle smell of Lexa's coming from everything in that place.

It was a light touch that woke her, a few hours later. It was dark outside and the only light came from an oil lamp placed on the table. Lexa was lying next to her and was caressing the blond hair, with a smile on her face. The Commander couldn't even move her own eyes from Clarke's blue ones, such was her beauty. She found herself looking at Clarke in a way that surprised even herself.. It was like Clarke was drawing her closer and closer, but not only when they were so intimate, even when they were feet away from one another, even when they were in the same tent or room but others were around. Lexa's eyes couldn't help being drawn to Clarke's.

"Sorry", Lexa whispered, "I didn't mean to wake you".  
Clarke moved to one side, so that she could face Lexa. "It's okay. I've rested a bit.. What time is it?", the blonde asked.  
"It's late night.. almost 2am. You should sleep", the Commander continued.  
"But I just woke up. _You_ just woke me up", the blonde replied with a sleepy smile. Still, she couldn't hold back a yawn. Lexa's smile widened.  
"Come on, let's go to sleep", she murmured pulling the furs on them and snuggling up against Clarke. 

The clock stroke 6am when Abby got out of her tent in Ton DC. The sun wasn't up yet, it would be in half an hour or so. The meeting was scheduled for 7am but there were many already up and working in the village. She was used to the grounders timetable now, even though at the beginning she couldn't see how could they sleep only a few hours per night. Abby headed to the war tent, looking for Clarke, but her daughter wasn't there. Knox, one of Lexa's generals, greeted her without showing any real emotion and told her that the Commander and Clarke hadn't shown up yet. Abby thanked him and walked out of the tent, a bit relieved that she had something to do instead of waiting there with the stoic general. He was kind of scary to Abby. He never talked much and when he did, it was in a scorbutic way as if he was always angry or annoyed by the presence of the Sky People.  
Abby couldn't really understand the reason of his behavior. There had been issues between the two peoples, especially shortly before the battle at Mount Weather because of Lexa's decisions, but it was in the past. They had been improving the relationship day by day, step by step.  
Abby continued walking toward the Commander's tent. It was weird that the Heda hadn't woken up yet, since she was usually the first to start the day in the village.  
Abby arrived at the tent, she stepped inside and froze right away.

Clarke was still sleeping, as was Lexa. And it wouldn't be anything weird if it wasn't for the fact that the two girls were one into the other's arms, sleeping so close that their legs were intertwined and their foreheads were leaned on to one another.  
She didn't know what to do. Was she supposed to get out? Or did she have to wake Clarke anyway? Unsure of what her behavior should be, she lingered a while longer where she was and then turned around to walk out of the tent. Her movements, though, weren't as light as the grounders' and while turning she hit a box lying on the floor. Clarke opened her eyes and looked around to see where the noise came from. When she saw her mother, she almost jumped on her feet, roughly pushing Lexa away and unintentionally hitting her on her chin. Lexa rolled to the edge of the bed, nearly falling off. She brought her hands to her face and groaned for the sudden pain.  
"Mom! I -- what are you doing here?", the blonde asked. Her face was red for the embarrassment, but she tried hard not to show it. Abby tried to do the same.  
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. I thought you were awake already", she answered, "The meeting with the generals of the 12 clans is to start in about half an hour".

Lexa had recomposed herself in the meantime and was already wearing the stoic-Commander-face.  
"We shall join you in a minute. Just the time to get ready", she said emotionless. How could she do it? Maybe this was normal to her, too, just like being busted by Octavia in the woods, Clarke thought.  
"I'll see you later then", Abby added quickly. She glanced at her daughter one last time before finally walking out. Both mother and daughter had never felt so relieved before.  
Clarke started to breathe again and looked at Lexa, who returned the look with a smile. "Why are you smiling? Stop smiling", she said trying to look serious, but couldn't hold a smile herself. "This is not funny", she added.  
"It is a little funny", Lexa replied with the smile still on her face, walked towards Clarke and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. "Maybe it wasn't the best waking up, but I'll remember your mother's face for the rest of my days", the Commander added bursting laughing.  
"There will be questions, though. My mother will want to know if there's something.. unusual going on", the blonde said, a bit worried. Lexa caught the look in Clarke's eyes and turned serious.   
"If she asks -", she started after a moment of silence, "will you tell her about this? About us?". She looked into Clarke's eyes, trying to understand what the girl was thinking. Lexa could see that it was an important matter and she didn't want Clarke to carry the weight of it all by herself. They were in it together.

Clarke hesitated and looked away for a while, then turned her eyes back to Lexa. They had been through a lot, too much considered their age, and there hadn't been a single moment when Clarke had ever doubted the grounder's support. Even before the battle at Mount Weather. Even then, she had seen the suffering in Lexa's eyes, like a silent apology.   
Clarke took the Commander's hand in her own and raised the other one to stroke the brunette's cheek.  
"I'm scared", she revealed. "I don't know what I'd tell her. I guess I'll figure it out if and when she'll ask. What I do know is that I really care for you, Lexa. I'm not going to give up on this", she added with a smile that expressed all of her affection and at the same time her fear and worry for the newborn relationship. She squeezed Lexa's hand and together they headed to the war tent.

The meeting with the generals lasted for a couple of hours. Marcus, Abby and Bellamy participated, too. It was a reunion called to talk about boundaries and the control of the most peripheral zones and not about war, like Clarke had thought at first when she heard about the war council.  
When the meeting was over, the blonde started to chat with Bellamy until she saw her mother coming towards her. This is it, she thought. Clarke said goodbye to her friend and waited for Abby to come closer.

The Chancellor stood before Clarke. She knew what was the subject that Abby wanted to bring up but a tangible embarrassment was in the air around them. After several seconds spent looking at each other and slightly blushing, Abby spitted it out.  
"So.. This morning.. What -- What was it about?", she asked.  
"I -- we --", the words died in Clarke's throat. She simply couldn't speak, be it for fear or just the embarrassment of talking of her private life with her mother. Was it a bad thing having feelings for a girl? Having feelings for the Commander? Clarke's head was spinning, trying to decide and choose the following words. No, she wasn't ready yet.  
"It was nothing, Mom. We were sleeping and it was probably cold during the night, so we unintentionally got closer to each other", she lied.   
Abby nodded but she didn't look relieved or anything. Not that she was actually worried about a possible relationship between Clarke and Lexa, but she seemed not to care if it was really about Lexa. Clarke noticed her mother's discomfort while talking of such things. Maybe it wasn't Lexa or the fact that she was a woman. It was just the private subject that seemed to give her mother trouble. After all they had never had such conversations.

Clarke bit her lip. Maybe it wouldn't be a problem if she told the truth.  
She turned her head and saw Octavia talking to Indra near the entrance to the tent, so she said goodbye to her mother and walked towards the brunette. As Clarke approached, Oc raised her eyes and saw her and said something to Indra that Clarke couldn't hear. After making an almost imperceptible movement with her head to greet Clarke, Indra walked away and the blonde found herself with only Octavia.

"I saw that", the brunette started, "I've never seen your mother panicking like that.. what was that about?".  
"Lexa.. My mother walked into the tent this morning and she saw me and Lexa sleeping together", Clarke answered not giving further details. Octavia raised an eyebrow and looked at her, as if she was waiting for an explanation.  
"We were basically hugging in our sleep", Clarke said, "we were.. pretty close. You know, legs intertwined, foreheads touching..".  
"You _so_ need to be more careful about such things if you don't want others to know yet", Oc replied laughing. "I guess you didn't tell anything to Abby, did you?", she asked.  
"Nope.. I was paralyzed, but maybe it wouldn't have been a bad idea."  
"Well, in any case, you have plenty of time to talk to her. You can do it tonight, at the celebration", she continued, but Clarke looked perplex with a silent question in her eyes.  
"There had been problems with one of the clans, but now everything's fine. They're celebrating the renovated friendship, so to say", Octavia explained.  
"I'll see tonight, then.. I haven't made up my mind yet. I still have doubts", Clarke said. "I'm going to find Lexa.. I'll see you later then?"  
"Sure. Go find your beauty. Ow, cutie lovebirds", Octavia laughed making fun of the blonde and emphasizing the voice. Clarke tried to glare at her but couldn't help smiling.   
"See you at the party, you dork", she said walking away.  
She felt a weird burden on her shoulders. She needed to really relax. Maybe this party was a good chance to do it. Clarke hoped so.


	4. Start the party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The party is starting and Clarke has her mind settled on fully relaxing and not thinking about anything. Turns out that it is the very night the starts to really figure out what is going on in her mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am an awful person. I am aware of that. I had a precise schedule on mind when I started this but then I have been actually submerged with school stuff and tests and exams. I still have much to do so I might be a bit slow updating this.  
> Sorry guys, doing my best here not to lose my head :(  
> Anyways, thanks for the comments and kudos and everything! I really appreciate it.
> 
> Remember that English is not my first language so there might be spelling or syntaxical mistakes. Apologies!  
> Enjoy!

It was most certainly _not_ how Clarke had imagined it.

The party had started at sundown. But the _party_ included a feast and a very boring ceremony which was meant to honor the alliance and most specifically the River Clan, the newest member of the 13. It still felt odd to talk about the _thirteen_ clans but since the defeat of the Mountain Men and the newfound peace between Sky People and Wood Clan, the 100 and everyone of the Ark were now a strong and important part of the alliance, both for their technology and the closeness (physical and not) to the Grounders.

It was definitely a different party than the others that the 100 had had until that moment. Monty had his home made booze, the Moonshine, and it had always been enough for the kids to be happy and excited and -after a while- extremely drunk, too. They had always managed to relax in such ways but of course it wasn't a great idea to wave a bottle of Moonshine in front of the Chancellor or the always-so-serious-and-depressed-looking Grounders, especially the Clans that hadn't lived with the Sky People long enough to understand or at least get used to their ways.  
But it didn't take long to Jasper and Monty to let some Moonshine _accidently fall_ into the drinks of everyone at the feast. The result? The majority of those present got drunk in less than 15 minutes. Pretty obvious, since no one of the Grounders had ever tasted something even remotely as strong as super alcohol.

_'Congratulations guys. Once again you managed to do the dumbest thing possible'_ , Clarke thought, but couldn't help secretly smiling to herself. After all, everyone was actually enjoying the party and having some fun, which Clarke thought they hadn't ever had. Not those on the Ark, nor those on the ground. Maybe this would made the bond stronger. Hangover buddies, as Octavia liked to say.

The Arkers were in slightly better conditions than the grounders but the following morning they would all see the consequences of the night.  
Abby, one of the few that hadn't drunk almost anything and was fine, glared at her daughter when she passed by giving her a guilty look and an apologetic smile.

It was about 11pm but the night had just begun for Clarke and most of the 100. She had said that she would enjoy herself and relax and she was determined to stick to that thought. She walked over to her friends, who were laughing and telling jokes and swallowing enormous quantities of Moonshine, grabbed the bottle and took a deep sip of alcohol. It burnt while going down Clarke's throat. The flavor was bitter and left an even worst taste on the tongue, but Clarke didn't really care. That wasn't the point of drinking. She just wanted to let loose a little bit, she didn't even wanted to get drunk.

She spent some time with her friends, enjoying the company and the warmth of the fire, until she spot Lexa in the distance. The girl was intensely looking at her with an expression Clarke had never seen on her face. She was practically staring, burning a hole inside Clarke. She seemed, judging by her lascivious look, that she wanted to eat Clarke alive. The blonde felt a sudden urge to physically relieve the tension that that hungry look on the Commander's face was building in her. She couldn't just act as if it wasn't a big deal that Lexa and her shared maybe something more than friendship, though. It wouldn't be appropriate to show their affection in public. Right? It took Clarke less than a second to shake off that thought of indecision.

She stood up right away and her head spun a bit, which made her realize that maybe she was a bit tipsy. She hadn't really thought about whether or not go talk to Lexa when everyone was standing there around them either, so she was probably more than just _a bit_ tipsy. She just got up and walked over to her without thinking about it twice.

When Lexa saw her approaching, a wide smile appeared on her face. She had drunk, too, Clarke thought. She wouldn't be smiling like this otherwise, not in front of everyone. her eyes were fixed on the blonde, watching every move she made and lingering on her curves as she walked towards her. A smirk had then taken the place of the smile. As Clarke reached the Commander, Lexa pulled the other girl in for a hug.  
_'Definitely drunk'_ , Clarke decided.

"Clarke", Lexa mumbled nuzzling against the blonde's neck. Her grip on the Sky girl's back was strong and yet gentle. A hand started to travel up and down her back. Clarke managed to silence a moan that tried to escape her mouth at the light touches.

  
"You smell good", Lexa continued while smiling against Clarke's skin. Clarke could feel the hot lips brushing against her pulse, sending shivers down her spine and building the heat inside of her. She was pretty sure half the camp was watching them, but she didn't really care. It felt nice, why would she push Lexa away and shut her out right now?  
Their bodies were flushed against each other, tight to tight, hip to hip, chest to chest. Not an inch was separating them, not that either of them did mind or was bothered by it. The feeling to be so close was new to them both. They had shared moments of intimacy but this was something else, they had never been this close physically.

Lexa was breathing slowly against Clarke's skin, her grip on the blonde's back getting stronger while she gently pushed her nose right under her jaw. Clarke couldn't  now control a moan that slipped out of her mouth, making Lexa grin and intensify her actions.

"Lexa. We- ugh- we should get out of here", Clarke managed to put together a few words before her breath caught in her throat as Lexa lowered her head to place a kiss on Clarke's collarbone and nipped at her skin there. Lexa simply hummed in response, but without showing any will to part from the blonde.

"Lexa", she repeated.

"Clarke", the _Heda_ whispered in her ear, still without pulling away.

"CLARKE!". Both girls jumped startled at the unexpected and extremely loud voice that came from behind them. They loosened their hug and regain a bit of composure, a low groan escaping both Clarke's and Lexa's throats, already missing the contact and the warmth of their bodies close.

Octavia is standing right in front of them, hands on the hips, with a not too happy look on her face.

"Clarke what the hell you think you're doing?", she blurted out. She seemed pretty annoyed, Clarke thought.

"I'm enjoying myself. What are _you_ doing? That's the second time that you walk in on us."

"I didn't really walk _in_ on you guys. And you know why? Because we're in the middle of the camp. Out. In the open. Where everyone can see you. And that includes your mom, if you're wondering. And before you do anything I'm sure you would regret tomorrow morning, I think it's best if you, like, keep your hands off each other for now?"

"You're such a buzzkill, O". Clarke grumbled although she understood what Octavia meant. She looked at Lexa and fought against her instinct to capture the brunette's lips despite the presence of Octavia and the others scattered around the camp. Clarke gave the Commander an apologetic smile, hoping she too had understood the situation. Lexa returned the smile, and it took her everything not to give in and restart from where she had been interrupted by Octavia a while before.

Clarke let Octavia drag her away from the Commander and lead her to the small group of the 100 but not before stealing a glance at Lexa. The brunette was surprised by the look. It was different from the one Clarke had given her a while ago. That previous was filled with lust and want and hunger. This one was filled with affection. Happiness maybe? Lexa didn't know exactly but it lit anyway something in her. A feeling she hadn't felt for anyone for many years. It struck her. She stand there wide eyed and with her jaw slightly dropped, watching almost in awe the two girls walking away.

It took her a few seconds to recompose herself and shake off that feeling.  
_"Alcohol. It must be it. I must remember not to drink it again."_ , she thought. _"It can't be what I think it is"._ She decided it wasn't important and it was due to the heavy drinking but when she looked back at Clarke, the girl was laughing at something one of her friends had said and she looked so beautiful, so breathtaking that Lexa couldn't tear her eyes from her.

She shook her head, hoping to regain a bit of control over her actions, and walked away to her tent after nodding at Indra and her generals and excusing herself, finally heading to her bed. Still, she couldn't shake off the confusion in her head.

 

                             ____________________________________________

When Clarke noticed that Lexa had gone sleeping, she returned her attention to her friends. It was not long after that she realized that there were only a couple of them still awake. She was sitting next to Octavia, and in front of them there were Bellamy and Raven seemed to be pretty involved in some weird conversation about mechanics -since when did Bellamy understand something of mechanics? really- .

The two girls were sitting without saying a word, until O broke the silence.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Talk about what?"

"About you and Lexa obviously having a thing for each other?"

Clarke was taken a little aback by the question. She took a piece of leaf from the ground and started playing with it and then  she tossed it into the fire.

"What are you asking?"

"Do you really want to know, Clarke? Because I remember pretty well how Lexa sounded the retreat right before the battle with the Mountain Men. I remember how she betrayed us all, how she betrayed _you._ Don't get me wrong, now things seem to have improved a bit at least and we are again part of the alliance. You know how I like it here, I like being a Grounder."

Octavia stopped, she threw a pebble towards the fire pit and then turned her head to Clarke. The blonde waited for her to go on.

"What I don't get is, how can you be so intimate with her? Just, _how_? After everything she did, how can you still trust her? I respect her as a Commander and I respect her decisions, but a relationship? That I would even think about starting". Octavia looked straight at Clarke, staring fiercely at her waiting for the girl to give her some answers.

Clarke took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a second. Why had she forgiven her so easily? She hadn't really wondered why, she just felt like she had understood.

"Do you ever feel like you understand someone but you don't know what is it that makes you understand them? You just feel it. I guess I understand what she did, after what _I_ did inside the mountain. I spent a lot of time alone, thinking and rethinking and being angry and wanting to shout or hit something, O. I _wasted_ a lot of time, so much that I'm already tired of analyzing the details of everything. I just want to feel free and right now this freedom seems to identify with Lexa.

I know you don't understand this relationship of whatever this is, but when she found me in the woods and saved me and healed me, I just felt a connection with her. It was like finally finding someone who's on my side."

Clarke finished talking and looked right at Octavia, who was now staring at the fire in front of them. The brunette didn't seem to be wanting to pursue the conversation, so Clarke kept silent and continued to play absent-minded with pieces of sticks and leaves.

"I do understand", Octavia said breaking the silence a few minutes after. She looked at the blonde, holding her gaze for a while. "I just- I hope you know what you might get yourself into. She could do it again."

"She could, but she won't. I know it. I feel it. I saw it in her eyes when we were in the forest, the first moment I laid eyes on her after she had saved me. There was pain in her eyes, and guilt. I think she regretted her choice at the mountain. Well- not as a Commander but as a person", Clarke explained sure.

Octavia nodded. "I hope you're right, Clarke. I really do. And I know what I said after the missile but- "

"We're good, O", Clarke interrupted with the hint of a smile. The brunette smiled back, her shoulders relaxed and the tight grip on the log they were sitting on loosened.

They stayed there like this for another few minutes. It was getting cold in the night, probably it was about 2am and almost everyone was already gone to sleep. Clarke inhaled deeply, the cold of night filling her lungs. A shiver ran along her back, giving her goosebumps. She rubbed her hands on her own shoulder to get warmed up a bit. The fire was almost dying.

"What are you going to do with Lexa?", Octavia asked resuming their previous conversation.

"I don't know yet. I guess I'll just do what I feel moment by moment and maybe I should talk to her to see what she thinks about this. I can tell that we have a connection and I'm sure she feels it, too, but feeling and accepting are two very different things", she said with a sigh. "We should head to bed now, it's actually freezing out here".

Clarke stood up and tended her hand to Octavia to help her out. The brunette took it and once standing she extinguished the remaining bits of fire.

They walked towards the tents and wished each other goodnight.

Clarke let herself fall on the bed inside her own tent, the tent Lexa had ordered her men to build up for her. The bed was cold at the touch but it was covered with furs, so that Clarke wouldn't feel the bitter cold of night while sleeping. She slipped inside and tugged the covers up and above her head.

She closed her eyes as soon as her head hit the pillow. She had lots to figure out in the following days but she felt something building inside her, something that made her smile and somehow made her happy. She fell asleep with the face of Lexa imprinted on her mind.


	5. Little steps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took some time. As I said before, I have finals soon and sadly not enough time to write. Anyway, hope you enjoy! Leave comments if you have suggestions or anything

Lexa woke up the next day with a killing headache. She felt her head nearly exploding, her temples pulsing and her eyes aching. Lexa raised her hands up to her face and rested her head on them. After taking a deep breath, she dared open her eyes again, only to be hit by sunbeams and feel like spears piercing her brain.

Lexa groaned and shut her eyes close again, facing away from the light filtering through the tent. She stayed like this for a few more minutes, then tried again opening her eyes and after several seconds she got used to the light and slowly got up. She managed to make it out of the tent without stumbling or falling, and that was already something.

"Heda!", Indra was beside her as soon as Lexa had stepped out of the tent.

" _Please. Don't. Shout._ ", Lexa begged with eyes filled with pain. "My head is about to explode. I'm serious."

"Heda I might be a little daring here but I must remind you that I told you last night. I may trust the Sky People, but I most certainly don't trust their weird beverages. That's not the first time they offered us such things", Indra replied with the hint of a smile on her face.

"How is it that you don't feel as bad as the majority of the people here, me included?"

She scanned the surroundings. There were people already working but there were definitely fewer than usual. She noticed that they were mostly Sky People. Probably they were more used to drinking than her people.

Lexa tried to collect memories from the previous night but everything was blurred. Her head kept pulsing and beating like a freaking drum and the effort she made with thinking seemed to drain all of her already scarce energy. She dropped the thoughts and moved to the war tent, Indra beside with the shadow of a smile for her Heda's hangover conditions.

"Good morning, Commander!" an overly excited Octavia popped up at her side the very moment her foot touched the floor inside the tent and Lexa couldn't help but cursing the younger girl inside her head.

Lexa grunted and shot her a killing look that was answered by a wide smile and almost sparkly eyes.

"Not a morning person, Commander?" Octavia raised an eyebrow, not losing her smile, silently mocking the Heda.

"I _am_ a morning person, just not after nights like the past one. You, on the contrary, since when are you a morning person?"

"I'm going hunting! It my first hunt, I'm going with the other scouts. We'll leave shortly". Octavia's eyes lit up while saying those words, you could hear the excitement in her voice. She was so happy that Lexa couldn't hold a smile. The girl could be more of a Grounder now than a Sky person.

Octavia looked over at Indra, who nodded clearly proud of her second.

"We'll leave in 30 minutes", Indra instructed. After looking at Octavia, making sure she had understood everything about the upcoming hunt, Indra excused herself and headed to the stables to help settle everything up before leaving.

Lexa approached the throne and sat on it, placing her head in her hands, leaning a bit forward and closing her eyes.

"Still recovering from last night I see", Octavia said jokingly. "You're lucky I stopped you two before things could degenerate, or you would feel _much_ more exhausted", she teased with a smirk.

A bunch of memories suddenly flashed in Lexa's mind and she shot her eyes open, glaring at the younger girl, who was now laughing out loud.

"Shut up, Octavia", Lexa said with a quite threatening voice, that only made Octavia laugh louder. "I mean it. My head is exploding. I've already had a rough awakening and this morning everybody seems to be in the mood of shouting."

It took Octavia several minutes anyway to lower her voice and it took Lexa everything she had not to punch the girl in the face to make her shut up. When finally there was silence, Lexa took a deep breath, trying to calm her increasing headache.

"Heda?", Octavia asked tentatively gaining a groan from the Commander. "Heda, I wanted to apologize for last night", she continued, "I did what I thought it was best for you both, even though I understand that you two have a strong affection for each other."

Lexa raised her head and simply nodded, accepting the apology.

"I understand why you did it, Octavia. Now that I think about it, I don't know what came to me."

"I do", Octavia stated not adding anything else. Lexa was looking at her with a confused expression asking for her to continue. Octavia sighed.   
"I've seen the looks you exchange with Clarke, probably not even acknowledging that you do make them. It's the same kind of look that Lincoln gives me and I give him."

Octavia smile wholeheartedly at one even more confused Lexa. The Commander had understood what the young warrior meant and honestly it scared her. No, it _terrified_ her. That terror probably showed in her eyes, because Octavia picked up the conversation again.

"It's okay to feel, Heda. I remember how you were when our peoples first met and I see how different you've become now, months after. You're more sociable, more sharing, more open-hearted. _This_ is good. Not just because people can talk to you and make jokes without fearing your wrath" she added playfully "but also because that makes you a better leader for your people. You've made a lot of steps forward, you're not the same person who started this alliance, you're better. And may I say, I think it's because of Clarke and I think you know it, too. It's not just physical, we all can see it. Don't panic, Heda. Don't hide."

Lexa remained silent for a minute, not tearing her eyes from Octavia. Her look was not harsh, but it showed a inner fight that visibly pained the Commander. Lexa closed her eyes just a moment and slightly turn her head. She had to absorb everything the younger girl had said. She needed time and that was not the moment.

"I believe your group is about to leave for the hunt", she simply said.

It was a clear sign that Octavia had touched a weak spot, maybe pushed too many buttons too fast. She took a step backwards and nodded, but before exiting the tent she turned to Lexa once again.

"Just- Just talk to her, okay?", and with that she made her way out of the tent, leaving Lexa alone floating in a infinite number of thoughts which didn't seem to want to leave her in peace in the nearest future.

With her head pulsing stronger and stronger, she leaned back on the throne.   
_'Definitely the first and last time I'll get drunk'_

 

____________________________________________________________________

Clarke woke up alone in her tent. She could tell that the sun was already up but it was still early in the morning. The tent that the Tree People had set for her was pretty big, although still bare since there were only a bed, a small table beside the bed and a piece of furniture where she could put her things and clothes. She could paint or draw something to give the place some color, she thought.

She sat up on the bed, letting the sheets and furs fall in her lap and beside her. The air was cold and it stung on her skin sending a shiver down her spine.

Her first impulse was to go back to sleep inside the warmth of the bed, but as soon as she closed her eyes, Lexa's face flashed before her eyes.

A smile appeared on Clarke's face. She couldn't help it. They had made a step forward the previous night, although it was under the influence of the Moonshine.  
The blonde remembered it all and now that her mind was completely clear she felt kind of embarrassed for her actions. Not for the actions themselves, she didn't regret those, but because she was in front of other people. A lot of other people.

Clarke breathed deeply still keeping her eyes closed and the smile on her face.

"Why are you smiling to yourself?"

Octavia entered the tent and leaned against one of the poles holding the structure of the tent. She was smiling, too and Clarke knew from her face that she was up to something.

"I bet it's about something that happened last night with a certain _someone_ ", Octavia teased with a smirk.

Clarke eyes her suspiciously. "Maybe, but I'm not _that_ obvious"

"Please you're like a happy puppy right know. I mean it. You're literally glowing for how much you're happy"

Clarke shot her a glare but that wasn't effective, because Octavia answered with an equally intense smirk and kept teasing.

"Anyway, Princess. This _certain someone_ is currently in the war tent and- "

"O, I'm not a stalker. I just got up and she probably just did too. Besides, I don't see why I should care of where she is right now", Clarke lied and it was quite evident. She did want to know because she wanted to see Lexa, talk to her, laugh with her, feel her near.

"Yeah but anyway", Octavia continued, "I just have two minutes so let's get to the point. Lexa's hangover, probably her first time, so you could go there and help her. It seemed like you were willing to _help_ her even last night, so- "

"Octavia!", Clarke blushed remembering the previous night but couldn't retain a small laugh. Octavia instead seemed to be about to choke laughing out loud.

"One day you'll thank me, Princess, and you know it. Now get up and get dressed and go talk to her. I know you want to, it's written all over your face"

"Oh, come on! I can't just go there and act like anything had happened at all. I mean, she probably doesn't even remember any of it."

"I'll tell you what. Beside the- uhm - physical part of your relationship, maybe you don't know the effect you two have on each other. You _shift_ when you see each other, it's like a magnetic phenomenon. Every single time she enters the room you're in, you move too and vice versa when you enter she turns towards you unconsciously. I swear, I'm not making it up."

Clarke looked pensive. She had never noticed such behaviors and changing in her or Lexa's attitude but, again, she realized she was caught in Lexa's eyes every time she saw her. How could she not? Those beautiful forest green eyes were like magnets, she couldn't do else but look inside them and get lost. People usually said that her own eyes were like the ocean, blue and deep, and people could feel at peace just by gazing  at them. Clarke had never understood what they meant, until she met Lexa. Those eyes weren't blue like the sea but it felt like floating in peaceful safe waters. She could spend hours just looking at them, at _her._  Clarke would simply zone out.

"Clarke", Octavia drew her attention by snapping her fingers in the blonde face, stopping her stream of thoughts, "you just zoned out, again. That's exactly what I was talking about like _right now_. "

The blonde shook her head, coming back to reality. "I'm sorry, you were saying?"

Octavia sighed as she shook her head. "I said, you're always in another dimension when you're with her. That's a good thing, but honestly the way you two look at each other is rather disgusting. I could get diabetes just by looking at you looking at each other, and I'm not exaggerating. You make these sweet puppy eyes and I swear Lexa's eyes are starting to shape into hearts."

Clarke chuckled as she got up from her bed and went to the table where her clothes were.

"Fine. Maybe you're right. I'll talk to her, although I'm still figuring out what is that Lexa and I have."

"That's a start". Octavia quickly peeked outside the tent and noticed a bunch of scouts ready to go into the woods. "Sorry Clarke, I have to go, I have my first hunt today and we'll leave in a minute. I'll see you later, okay? And talk to her!", she shouted once she was already outside.

The blonde smiled to herself, thinking about how close Octavia and her were getting lately. She was starting to think of the brunette as a younger sister, although things were still developing. Anyway Octavia seemed to care for Clarke and that made the blonde think that maybe, just maybe, the events of the past that had caused so much trouble between her people and not just between Octavia and her were finally buried and forgotten. No, not forgotten. She could never forget, but she could forgive and be forgiven.

Clarke finished getting ready, her thoughts shifting from one thing to another, from Octavia to her past, from Lexa to her future.

_____________________________________________________________________

When Octavia stepped out of the tent after her talk with Clarke, she found Lincoln waiting for her nearby. When he saw her, a wide genuine smile appeared on his face.

"You really do like playing matchmaker, don't you?". Lincoln reached for Octavia and pulled her in for a hug. He kissed the crown of her hair and slipped his hand in Octavia's, lacing their fingers together.

"Someone has to. You've seen how they look at each other. They love each other, they just don't know it yet. That's where I come in. They just need a little push and everything will fall into place spontaneously"

"How can you know that they're in love? Before for last night, no one had ever seen Lexa so exposed and it may be a omen but that's far from being able to affirm that they love each other", Lincoln replied softly while walking with his arm wrapped around Octavia's waist.

"Believe me, I know it."

"How?".

Octavia looked up to his face. He was clearly curious and waiting for an answer. His look was soft, loving and caring.

"They look at each other the way _we_ look at each other. And I love you, so that's basic math", Octavia replied tugging at Lincoln's hand and making him stop walking. She buried her face in the crook of his neck and placed there a gentle kiss.

The young couple smile at one another and, still hugging, they resumed their walk to the stables where the scouts were waiting.

"I hope you're right, O. They both need and deserve this. They deserve to be happy".

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first work, let me know what you think about it! Also, English is not my first language, so be kind to me xx


End file.
